New English
The
European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will
be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which
was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the
British Government conceded that English spelling had
some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
that would become
known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace
the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the
sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of"k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter.
There will be growing
publik enthusiasm
in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".
This will make words like fotograf 20%
shorter.
In
the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan
be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are
possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it
should go away.
By
the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with"v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o"
kan be dropd from vords kontaining"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve
vil hav a reil sensi bl
riten styl.
Zer
vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi TU
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum
tru.
Und
efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like
zey vunted in ze forst
plas.
Found at
http://your-joking.atspace.co.uk/