'True' Friendship

None of that Sissy stuff

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. WHEN YOU ARE SAD -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the nasty git who made you sad.

2. WHEN YOU ARE BLUE -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. WHEN YOU SMILE -- I will know you are plotting something that I want to be involved in.

4. WHEN YOU ARE SCARED -- I will tease you about it every chance I get.

5. WHEN YOU ARE WORRIED -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. WHEN YOU ARE CONFUSED -- I will use little, tiny words.

7. WHEN YOU ARE SICK -- Keep away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. WHEN YOU FALL -- I will probably point at you and loudly laugh my head off.

9. THIS IS MY OATH.... I pledge it to the end 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.

Remember: A friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body..
Let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel...

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