Adam and Eve
There is this guy who is always falling asleep in church and his wife wants to get him to stop, so she decides to bring a pin to poke him with every time he falls asleep.
So the next day in church, as usual, he falls asleep. Just as the preist says "Who created the earth in 6 days and rested on the 7th, she pokes him and he yells "GOD ALMIGHTY" the preist looks confused but says, uh yeah, thats right.
The man is annoyed, but of cource falls asleep again. Just as the preist says, "who died and was burned at stake for us?" she pokes him and he screams "JESUS CHRIST" The priest even more confused says "uh yea, thats right" so, he goes on with the sermon, but of cource the man falls asleep again.
So, just as the priest says "What did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their 2nd child?" she pokes him in the side, and he yells at the top of his lungs "IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME AGAIN, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF!" !!