The Four Nuns
Sister Anne, Sister Claire, Sister Mary, and Sister Christine were in a fatal car accident.
They flew up into heaven and landed in front of the pearly gates where St. Peter was waiting for them.
"You may all enter heaven, but first, you must wash away your sins with holy water! Sister Anne, tell me, have you sinned?"
"Yes father, I once touched a penis."
"Don't worry, just dip your finger in this," God said, producing a bowl of holy water. She did this and walked to the gates into paradise. Then St. Peter turned to the Sister Claire.
"My child," He said, "Tell me your sins!"
"I'm sorry, God, I once fondled a penis!"
"Do not dispair, for your sins will soon be washed away!" Sister Claire dipped her hands into the bowl of holy water and was about to walk through the gates when she heard Sister Christine curse.
"Dammit, I'm not drinking that after its been up Mary's ass!"