GetBent in Manhattan
Two elderly Jewish widowers, Hershel and Isaac, were out for a stroll one summer evening and happened to wander into one of New York’s Red Lightdistricts.
Up the street they noticed a man waving a flashing light and yelling at the top of his voice. They were curious, so they went over to find out what he was doing.
When they got there, the man started telling them about all of the great things happening inside the Gentlemen’s Club he was promoting.
Well, this sounded pretty interesting to Hershel and Isaac and, not being ones to pass up on a new learning experience, they went over to the Club to have a little look-see.
Hershel, being the braver of the two, went in first.
About 45 minutes later he comes out a little pale but with a Great Big Smile on his face.
So, vat happened,asked Isaac. Oy, you vouldn’t believe says Hershel, I valked in, dis beautiful blonde, 20 year old, goyish princess asks me for 50 dollars. She vas some kinda hotsy-totsy and I got pretty excited so I gave her the money. Den she takes me to a little room in the back and ve both get naked as the-day-we-were-born. By now, I’m remembering tings my wife Golda, god rest her soul, used to do for me. Little ‘Hershel’ gets excited too, and sticks straight up. I haven’t seen that in 20 years. Anyvays, she tells me to lie down on the bed. So I do. Den she comes over and drops half-a-bagel right on top of little ‘Hershel’. Den she puts corned beef on the half bagel. Den she puts mustard on the corned beef. Den she drops the other half-bagel on little ‘Hershel’. DEN SHE EATS IT! Vas best 50 dollars I ever spent in my whole life! You gotta try it Isaac.
Well, when Isaac hears this, he can barely contain himself. He runs into the Club, a fifty-dollar bill waving in his hand.
About 20 minutes latter, Isaac comes out he looked a little disappointed.
Vellsays Hershel, vat happened. Vellsays Isaac, same ting as you, dis pretty goy brunette takes my 50 dollars, den she takes me to little back-room and ve get naked. By now, I’m remembering vat you said and my little hammer is sticking straight up. She tells me to lay on bed, so I lay on bed. Den she comes over and drops a pint of vanilla ice cream right on top my little hammer. Den she puts some vipped cream, kosher vipped cream, on top of ice cream. Then she puts some pecans on top of vipped cream and den she puts great big fresh strawberry on top pecans.
Damn-it Hershel it looked so good I ate it myself.