From: "Ron McLeod"
To: "Bruce & Eva Mcleod" ; "Chrystal Perrin" ; "Enzo Sultini" ; "Eric Stone" ; "Frnak Ulakavich" ; "Linda Hubbard" ; "Pam Gee"
Subject: A Hillbilly Redneck Letter
Date: 23 June 2001 20:44

                           A REDNECK LETTER

Dear Billy Joe Bob,

Iím writing this slow because I know you canít read fast. We donít live
where we did when you left home. Your paw read in the newspaper that
most accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so we moved.  I
wonít be able to send you the address because the last family that lived
here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldnít have to
change their address.

This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine.  Iím not sure
it works so well, though, last week I put a load o clothes in and pulled
the chain, we havenít seen it since.

The weather isnít bad here.  It rained twice last week; the first time
for three days the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bubba said it would be
to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and
put them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday.  We were really worried
because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I havenít found out what it is
yet so I donít know if you are an aunt or an uncle.  The baby looks just
like your brother.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week.  Some men tried to
pull him out but he fought them off and drowned.  We had him cremated;
he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.  Butch was
driving.  He rolled down the window and swam to safety.  Your other two
friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldnít get the
tailgate down.

Your favorite Aunt

Found at