A massive gorilla
A lady is eating breakfast out on her patio one morning, when she notices a massive gorilla climbing up her palm tree.
This sight scares her so she runs inside her house. Trying to figure out what to do she grabs the yellow pages and looks it up--sure enough right in the yellow pages is a big ad for gorilla extractors. She calls the number and the man on the other end of the line says he'll be right over. When he shows up he explains to the lady that it is a pretty common problem and it should only take a few minutes.
First he must get his equipment. So from his truck he grabs a stepladder, a shotgun, an eight foot pole, handcuffs and a mean ass dog. The lady exclaims, "What the hell is all that stuff for?" The gorilla extractor explains: "First I climb up on the stepladder and ram this here pole up the gorilla ass.
This will cause the gorilla to fall from the tree at which point that mean ass dog will bite the gorilla in the balls. This temporarily paralyzes the gorilla.
At which point I put the handcuffs on the gorilla and take him away. The lady asks, "What's the shotgun for?"
The man answers, "In case I fall off the ladder, you shoot that mean ass dog!"