The SAS, the Para's and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend to see who comes out on top, after some basic exercises, the trainer tells them their next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit for supper, returning with it ready to skin and cook.
Night falls, and the SAS go first, they don night vision goggles, drop to the ground crawl into the woods in formation. There is absolute silence for 5 minutes and then the unmistakable muffled "phut phut" of their trademark double tap is heard. The SAS troopers emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly, twice between the eyes.
"Excellent" remarks the instructor.
Next up - the Para's, they finish their cans of lager, smear themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge into the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the air is filled with the sounds of rifle and machine gunfire, hand grenades, mortars and blood curdling screams and war cries. Eventually they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
"A bit messy, but you did achieve your aim I suppose, well done" says the trainer.
Finally in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs, whistling Dixon of Dock Green, for the next few hours the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie talkie "Sierra Lima Whiskey Tango Lima One, Suspect headed straight for you"..... etc.
After what seems an eternity, they emerge with a squirrel in handcuffs. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" yells the incredulous trainer. "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you to 5 hours ago" So back they go, minutes pass, minutes turn to hours, night turns to day.
The next morning the trainer and the other teams are awakened by the police holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye swollen shut.
"Are you taking the piss?" yells the by now seriously irate trainer.
The police team leader nudges the squirrel, who squeaks,
Found at
http://your-joking.atspace.co.uk/
"Alright, alright I'm a fucking RABBIT