Things You Never Say To A Naked Man

I've smoked fatter joints than that.

Ahh, it's cute.

Who circumcised you?

Why don't we just cuddle?

You know they have surgery to fix that.

It's more fun to look at.

Make it dance.

You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.

Can I paint a smiley face on that?

It looks like a night crawler.

Wow, and your feet are so big.

My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.

It's ok, we'll work around it.

Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?

Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.

Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

This explains your car.